United Russia

Today, on March 19th, Boris Gryzlov, a Russian politician and current Speaker of Russia's State Duma (the lower house of parliament) gave an on-line interview on the www.gazeta.ru. He is one of the leaders of the largest Russian political party, United Russia, the leader of which is Vladimir Putin. The fact of the interview is not that interesting in itself; what drew my attention was the number of comments/questions posted on the website during the last 3 days only: more than 3.5 thousand. Moreover, what strikes me the most is the unanimity of the general feeling towards that prominent politician. This feeling is strong hatred mixed with contempt and caustic. It would be impossible and indeed unnecessary to translate all of the questions, but some of them do deserve to be presented here for they show the real political situation in Russia, and, moreover, shed some light on what is common people's life like, being often not much larger than a mere process of survival. These are voices of common people, I didn't try to be picky or edit anything at all, so the list of questions comes "as is". I will try and provide explanations when needed (they will be marked with *).

*This is a cartoon about the USSR legacy most of which is already buried (some of the tombstones read "Art", "Education", "Healthcare", "Science", "Culture", and the coffin carried at the front reads "Sport" - after the humiliating defeat in the last Olympic games).

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich! Can you answer why after the collapse of the USSR our country has been losing about 1 million citizens each year?

- How can it be that American oil processing companies buy oil in the Middle East, transport it across the ocean to the other hemisphere, but in the end their gasoline is of better quality and cheaper than ours?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, could you please tell us whether there will be a law in Russia that would allow to recall State Duma deputies. This is a topical issue because politicians hardly ever fulfill their election pledges. By the way, is there a way a deputy could lose his mandate for frequent absence during the State Duma sessions: after all, this is in violation of the Labor Code of Russian Federation?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, are you aware of the fact that United Russia is a truly unique part? It is the only party that managed to spur so much hatred in such a short period of time.

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich! Are there any positive results of the fact that you destroyed the anti-organized crime unit by turning it into an "anti-extremist unit", or, which is the same, a political investigation unit? Also, did your son really call Russia "the country of sheep"?

- Why do government workers' pensions amount to 70% of their salaries, unlike all the rest of us? How are they special? Did the last pension reform divide the society into two casts then? Don't you think the government workers' pensions should be reckoned on the basis of the National Minimum Wage?

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich! Beginning in April 2010, the already low Moscow region school teachers' salaries will be cut by 25%. The reason for that is officially stated as bankruptcy of Moscow region. They said we can't submit written complaints because otherwise they will fire school principles. Can you comment on the situation? Keeping in mind that the region's governor is a member of your Party, the city mayor is a member of your Party, utilities' tariffs keep growing (we help raise Gazprom profits), and level of life is constantly going down...

Hello, Boris Vyacheslavovich. There have recently been raised all the tariffs, including those for registering your car and your marriage. Inflation, I guess. But why did the lawmakers forget about the child benefits? Mothers only get 50 rubles ($1.7) a month, and this number has been the same for the last decade. Is your party going to do something about that - at least do away with this benefit altogether, it won't be as humiliating: this money can't buy any children goods anyways, not even socks!

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, why is it more expensive to exercise in this country than to become an alcoholic? Monthly swimming pool subscription is 2000 rubles ($68), but a bottle of beer is 30 rubles ($1). Which means that drinking beer every day costs only 900 rubles ($30), but swimming 8 days a month takes 2000 rubles (*again, it's about $68 which is about 1/5 of an average salary in Russia).

- When will there be time in our country when you won't have anything left to steal? Is this possible?

- Why did United Russia support the government plan that required GIVING AWAY $200 billion to banks and oligarchs but that didn't include 20% workers' salaries adjustment that only needed $2 billion? Why do you have money for a bunch of oligarchs when 15 million of state workers have the same salary since 2008? (*if you take into consideration Russia's inflation this is a serious issue)

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich! After so many traffic accidents we are now faced with the problem of rotating lights and sirens (although Barkov's Mercedes doesn't have either), and the "right of the élite" to have their own traffic rules. (*This is about the fact that many politicians in Russia enjoy the privilege of a siren: they break every possible road regulation, and in case of an accident they always enjoy impunity. Barkov's case is different in that he is not a politician but an oligarch: about a month ago this oil giant owner's car got on the opposite lane and hit a small Citroen killing a young mother. This murderer faced no trial because videotapes of the accident had conveniently disappeared). I drive through Moscow downtown every morning and witness those crazy drivers flying through the "reserved lane" or even openly on the opposite lane (*Moscow has notoriously bad traffic jams, so politicians reserved a special lane just for their cars). Our police turns a blind eye to all the violations. I'd like to know Your opinion: is it possible to stop the Middle Ages in the country that's desperately trying to be civilized. And how many people in your opinion should have the right of way with sirens and lights (excluding the police, ambulance, and fire trucks, of course)? I mean, don't you think it sounds kinda weird: "I'm driving to work with a siren!" Sorry about my emotional writing: I've just really had enough!

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, hello! Tell us, please, with the state program "Affordable Housing" will there be other comic shows? Maybe, "Reliable VAZ" (*the biggest state-run automobile company) or "Honest Politicians"?

- There have been organized over 25 hundred events that involved political demands in 2009. What that means is that every single day, holidays included, there were 6 or 7 rallies, protests, or demonstrations where people expressed their dissatisfaction with the political regime. Is it not a political chaos?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, the roads of the Volgograd city are so full of craters that it seems The Battle of Stalingrad has only finished yesterday. It is a real challenge to drive without putting your life and health at risk. Don't you think your party is responsible for actions (or, to make it more precise, lack of actions) of your fellow party members in our region, and what steps are you going to take in order to deal with this road condition?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich! Forbes list for just the last year has shown that the number of dollar billionaires in Russia almost doubled (went from 32 up to 62). My income, and the income of all the people I know personally have decreased in rubles, let alone dollars. Could you comment on the situation?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich! Why do they force Ural State University students to vote for United Russia under threat of closing the university? Why do they make my mom - a nurse in the city hospital #3 - and other personnel vote for United Russia under threat of firing? Why did they make my father - a worker at a heavy machine production facility - and other workers take an absentee ballot and under threat of firing take a picture of it making sure that the tick is at the United Russia line? Why is United Russia humiliating people? Everyone hates you! Just remember that 98% of the population are descendants of serfs. You push their limits, and they will take pitchforks and stick them in the lord's ass. Remember it's the year 17 soon! Thank you.

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, during the last State Duma election I received 200 rubles ($7) for giving my vote to United Russia. Will this sum be adjusted for inflation by the time of the next election? If yes, how much will it be? Thank you.

- What is your opinion about the fact that Golikov and Christenko, both federal ministers, reside in the "Island of Fantasy" village that was reserved for building a children's sports school?

- How do you feel living in the country that is proudly the champion in the number of independent journalists assassinated per year?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, how much is parliament seat?

- Mr. Gryzlov, does United Russia plan to create a law that would introduce a tax on being under the poverty line? With this tax being poor will become unprofitable!

- Name me all Russian cities with populations topping one million. I know that you don't know. None of the ministers do. I'll give you a hint: during the time of your governing this number has decreased by two.

- Have you already purchased a house in Argentina in case of a revolution?

- Please comment on pensions of common people and those of government workers, on bureaucrats' and common Russians' salaries, on forgiving Algeria's debt, and on giving Venezuela a loan for purchasing weapons!

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich, we all know that there is such a profession - selling one's Motherland. Could you tell where to get the relevant education, maybe I could enroll in a course. I would like to work with You very much because I am very hungry.

- Boris Vyacheslavovich! I'm sick and tired of working in Vietnam; when will common oil extraction engineers in Russia have at least half the salary Vietnamese guys can enjoy?

- Please comment on what the Chief of Police of the Tomsk Police Department said about spending 18 million rubles on weapons and equipment for demonstration dispersal: "Considering spread of democracy we have to be ready for whatever task may be necessary to fulfill".

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, 1 - please tell: how will you distribute serfs among politicians (that is, how many serfs per politician) when you reintroduce serfdom? and 2 - will you provide serfs on the basis of territorial division or in some other way? Thank you!

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, our country doesn't have money to purchase new weapons for the needs of the military (not that it has money for anything else that's good or useful), but somehow you found 25 billion taxpayers' rubles ($850 million!) to order new military uniforms from Yudashkin (*Russia’s most famous fashion designer). Maybe I'm stupid, but could you explain this, I don't get it no matter how hard I try. Thank you!

- Why is the pension age for men 60 in our country, while men's life expectancy is 62?

- Dear Mr. Gryzlov! Will you agree to drink a glass of radioactive water purified with the Petric-Gryzlov filter on TV live? If not, can you explain why? (*The matter is that Petric, a criminal pseudo-scientist, owner of the holding company "Golden Formula" received through help of his old friend Boris Gryzlov (and United Russia, of course) government contract for supplying water filters for basically the whole country. The Russian Academy of Sciences tested the filters and declared them inoperative. Boris Gryzlov made an official statement that "Russian Academy of Sciences has no right to tell what is science and what is not!" Such embezzlement-made-perfectly-legal is outrageous and created an outburst of protests in Russia, only to be completely ignored by the politicians).

- I know that your daughter lives in Tallinn, Estonia, and she is a citizen of Estonia. What do you think of that? Do you consider her a traitor?

- Why do I have to pay transportation tax when neither my city nor my whole region has any roads?

- How is it possible that young gifted scientists receive a stipend that is lower than the living wage? Does your party consider their time and talent that cheap?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, when will our humiliating National Minimum Wage be made at least somewhat consistent with the real cost of living?

- Dear Mr. Gryzlov, do you plan to buy a 50 million pounds estate in London, just like Elena Baturina did? (*Elena Baturina - Russia's richest woman worth more than a billion dollars. She is the wife of Moscow's mayor Yuriy Luzhkov, she used to own a construction company Inteco, and at one point Inteco was said to control 20% of construction in the capital - a clear sign of corruption by getting municipal contracts through family connections)

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, your party and you personally voted for giving two islands in Amur river away to China. We'll skip the fact that every one of you violated the Constitution, let's talk about the following: you all consider this act a great and opportune breakthrough in relations with China. My question is: how many more breakthroughs like this one do you intend to commit in the near future, and what is their greatness in square miles?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, hello! Could you please tell us when will you deal with the problem of university professors' salaries? A Moscow University professor with teaching experience of over 40 years, for instance, gets a little more than 18 000 rubles a month ($615) working full-time!

- Mr. Gryzlov, I'd like to know why is National Minimum Wage calculated using the living wage amount MINUS utilities' cost? Why is government workers' salary lower than a monthly apartment bill?

- When will you stop humiliating the WWII veterans?!

- Boris Vyacheslavovich! Don't answer these questions - they're pretty silly anyways - just report on your election program of 2003: "As a result, already in 2004 every citizen of Russia will pay two times less than now for power and heating. By 2005 every Russian citizen will receive his or her share from national resources usage. By 2006 everyone will have a job. By 2008 every family will have its own well-appointed housing worthy of the 3rd millennium, regardless of its present income. By 2008 Chechnya and all Northern Caucuses will become the resort region of Russia. By 2010 we will build highways throughout Russia, and by the year 2017 Russia will become the world leader in politics and economy!" - Thanks.

- Have you given some thoughts on your future - after all, you can't annihilate all the people, can you?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, when will we get our "Against all the candidates" option back? (*The matter is, there was this kind of option on the elections ballots in Russia before, and if a large enough number of people checked this option the whole body of the State Duma had to leave, and reelections were to be scheduled for a later date. This option was removed in 2006. The only other jurisdictions/organizations with such system are Greece, Spain, France, Colombia, the US state of Nevada, and the Debian Project)

- Is there anything at all in your household made in Russia?

- How can you spend billions on "Clean Water" program and dump waste in the largest body of fresh water in the world - lake Baikal - at the same time? (*The World Bank has estimated that Russia needs $55 billion to repair 15 years of deferred maintenance on water works. This is called "Clean Water" Project. At the same time Putin decided to allow a notoriously polluting paper mill to reopen on Lake Baikal, reversing long-time protections to the UNESCO World Heritage Site)

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, do you not think that mortgage rate over 5% is in essence serfdom relations between the banks and people? Why is it that in the 30-year mortgage monthly payment the original amount constitutes only 25%, while the other 75% is the interest rate? Will we be able to get 99-year mortgage?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, how many United Russia's politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? How much does this cost to the taxpayers? What if it's an energy efficient light bulb?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, The State Duma of Russian Federation consists of 450 members. Currently United Russia holds 315 seats which makes the constitutional majority. 250 of those 315 members are dollar millionaires, 18 are billionaires whose total fortune exceeds national budget. You are the head of United Russia. How much do you and your family have in collective net worth at present?

- Hello, Boris Vyacheslavovich. Tell me please, how many orphanages is it possible to finance with what your necktie is worth?

- Dear Boris Vyacheslavovich, after the Moscow mayor's statement about Stalin's role in the WWII you said that credit for the victory belongs not to Stalin, but to the Great Russian people. Well then could you explain why didn't the Great Russian people win The Russo–Japanese War of 1905, or the WWI for that matter?

- Russia depends on import completely. Could you tell us why we don't manufacture underpants? Or toothbrushes? Or compact disks? What's left of Russia? Name me one manufacture that's effectively working today producing consumer goods! Also, try and compare statistics on murders for the 1937-1946 period and 2000-2010 period. How many people were imprisoned then and how many now?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, whom can we "thank" for systematic WIPING OUT of national health care? I repeat, WIPING OUT because it's really hard to find a better word. Let me give you an advice: why all the hassle, just finish it off with one blow - fire/arrest all the doctors whose sheer enthusiasm is the only thing that STILL supports the whole system (what else can it be with salaries around 6 000 rubles a month ($200)?) Get real!

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, please comment on the fact that your fellow member of United Russia, Samara region governor Vladimir Artyakov purchased an armored Mercedes-Benz with $1 million of taxpayers' money.

- Tver and Leningrad regions' citizens declared a war on the new bullet trains "Sapsan": the train cars are hit with rocks, metal bars, and blocks of ice. The police registered 9 cases of attacks on the trains. Several times it was necessary to use emergency braking because someone had left huge snowmen on the tracks. The reason for this uprising is as follows: in order to launch the new trains some old local trains had to be canceled, and they used to be the only way of transportation for a great number of people in the rural areas around the big cities. People can't get home from work, school children cannot get back home for 4-5 hours before the night trains start running. There are no buses available because roads are in terrible condition. And tickets for "Sapsan" are way more expensive than an average person can afford. Last December V.Putin alloted $1 billion to protect the trains. This money will probably be used to install cameras all the way along the railroad tracks. Do you, like, not see anything wrong with that, at all?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich! Do you not see how the lack of volunteers to serve in the army is clearly the sign of how little love for their Motherland do people have in our country? They don't love SUCH Motherland, and credit for that belongs fully to You. Take any decade of a commie leader, let it be Brezhnev (1972 to 1982) and try and compare how much was built then, and how much was built for the 10 years of your ruling. And don't even mention the decade of bloody dictator Stalin because THAT MUCH construction you wouldn't be able to finish in 1000 years. All you did was finish a hydroelectric power plant 80% of which had been built by the communists, and made a tunnel on Baikal-Amur Mainline. No, I am not counting screwdriver factories. Oh yeah, I forgot! You blew up the Sayano–Shushenskaya hydroelectric power station! How could I forget such a brilliant economic breakthrough?!

Can you manage anything larger than your back yard? If not, why don't you leave? Are you waiting to be overthrown?

- Comrade Gryzlov, what do you think is the reason why everyone hates you so much, along with your party and its leader who for some disturbing reason is not even its member? (*Putin really IS United Russia's leader and, mysteriously enough, he indeed is NOT a member of this party)

- Why do you think young Russian scientists actively leave the country?

- Boris Vyacheslavovich, don't forget that when we are out of oil most Russian citizens will still have two kidneys at your disposal.