To say that Japanese are conservative is to make an understatement. They are ultra-, super-mega-hyper conservative people who always create the way everyone is supposed to do things. They have meticulously gone through every activity and assigned a special method you are to approach it, along with all the possible consequences it is bound to lead to. The world for a Japanese person looks like a network of precise manuals: you just follow the scripts and everything will go according to the plan, and if you don't follow the scripts... hell, there hasn't yet been born a Japanese who wouldn't follow the scripts. After all, it's all there, clearly stated and explained!

Don't take me wrong, now. I can appreciate good instructions. Where I am from people tend to rely on each other's common sense way too much, so every once in awhile you can see directions in the following manner: "take a left at the next traffic light and drive until you see this unusual building; our company is not there, by it's close enough, I have no doubts you'll find it". So I am quite grateful to those people who made the effort to write it all down step by step. Really, you gotta love Japanese manuals. I mean, you know the "... for Dummies" series, right? Japanese manuals are "... for complete idiots". They leave nothing to chance. Take, for example this beautiful collection of very intuitive tips for eating nuts:

1) Open the package

2) Take out a nut

3) Put it in your mouth

I can already hear an echo of a resounding "DUH!" every sane person will undoubtedly utter after reading this gem, but apparently this is considered a norm in the "Land of the Rising Sun". Such "open other end" examples abound, but I would like to tell you about a more interesting habit.

There is a special pattern of actions they follow when visiting a restroom in Japan, and this is true for most toilets, be it a school lavatory or a bathroom in a private house. You are supposed to change your shoes to a pair of special toilet slippers at the entrance, do your thing, wash your hands, change back into your own shoes (or other kind of slippers they wear in many institutions), and then you're free to go. It's not that funny if you keep in mind that in the not-too-distant past Japan wasn't a technology freak of a country, so most restrooms consisted mainly of a hole in the ground with filth all around it. Being generally quite clean but not being able to do anything about the problem of natural waste, people decided to wear a special kind of shoes to separate themselves form the dirt, much like scientists who put on protective suits when they enter a contaminated area.

Now, before you say anything about how modern toilet seats (let alone Japanese shower toilets) are not exactly holes in the ground, let me just remind you one more time: Japanese people are super-conservative. To change an active manual with a new one they need a deadly serious reason, like, for instance, a fear of being thought of in a slightly negative manner. So, until this reason turns up, you will continue seeing a pair of slippers at the entrance of toilets, regardless whether they are Western style or traditional holes, now in tiles.

There is another peculiar ritual in Japan: getting hired. We can probably trace its roots to the beginning of Japanese Economic Wonder when huge companies employed their workers with firm intention to keep them on board until retirement. Finding the right person was crucial, so they never rushed, while paying attention to every little detail.

The ritual consists of the following: you send your resume by mail (yes, it must be mail), and then wait. If they like your resume they call you up and schedule an interview, after which you have to wait some more. Well, so far it sounds pretty regular, right? Yes, but only if you don't know the nuances. First of all, the resume is nothing like what you probably imagine it is. In Japan, the main word in 'team work' is team, not work, so if you are a genius, one of a kind, you will most likely spoil the team. Ergo, you are a bad worker, your skills notwithstanding. So the standard form of a resume simply does not leave any space for you to tell how good you are. You just fill it out, like a questionnaire: you name, phone number, address, education, history of employment, and ... that's it! You do get to answer one - just one - question that might potentially differentiate you from all the other applicants, namely "Hobbies", but you are expected to keep it short and merely list them one by one, like "music, tennis, movies". This is a common standard, so you can purchase such a form (and an envelope that comes with it) in any convenience store, - all you need to do is fill it out and send it. And you have to follow the procedure at all times and in all situations. Feel stupid sending an empty sheet when applying for a "handing out flyers for 2 hours" position? Think you can maybe leave out the "university department" section when applying for a janitor's part-time position? Think again, because it'll take more than just your common sense to change The Standards in Japan. Everyone is to follow the ritual.

It kind of makes their lives easier though. All the extreme politeness you hear at hotels, train stations and stores does not, in fact, come from "the bottom of their hearts". Rather, it comes with the position, together with salary and a uniform. They are supposed to say it, and this expectation is set in stone, it's sacred in a way. All the phrases they say to customers are fixed and haven't changed for decades, if not longer. If you stand close enough to be able to listen to what they say for a couple of hours you are bound to learn them all by heart, and more - you will hear them in your sleep! Shop assistants repeat their 'welcome' mantra non-stop like an incantation, without even thinking of what it means - welcome, thank you for coming, thank you for shopping with us, please come again... You can hear them say it to no one in particular sometimes, and often a waitress or a shop assistant would stumble on a customer while rushing somewhere or wake up behind the counter and blurt out straight off, - quite automatically - welcome, thank you for shopping! - just because this is the thing to say: it says so in the manual, so following it must be safe and right.

Many others 'manuals' are so deeply engraved into the culture that they don't even allow thinking any other way. Such is the language to use in all negotiations, or when talking to a superior, and when ... talking on the phone! Well, what if you're talking to a superior and aren't even aware of that? Better be on the safe side.

This respectful language is cemented in grammatical forms for good. Just try and change the grammar of your own native tongue ("I look two cow")! It is the easiest way to make sure all the right words are said and consequently all the right things done. You don't even have to think what to say to show your respect, just follow the grammar, and it will say volumes for you. You are expected to use the forms that correspond to each situation, and if you don't, serious people will not even waste their time talking to you. How dare you disrespect them with not following the traditional way to say things?! It is such an insult! You do that, and you will be thought of in a slightly negative manner - and what can be more dreadful than that?..

People in Japan treat manuals with benevolence and respectful appreciation. They are sincerely convinced that if not for manuals (both written and those passed from generation to generation) their life would be bouncing between turmoil and utter chaos. No one would know what to do and how to tell if their life is Right. So all manuals are to be created in the most stable form possible, preferably to be able to withstand centuries. Manuals provide peace and stability, and guarantee the right way of life, keeping the disturbing waves of all the new and unknown safely off the premises of this perfectly structured society.